Who hasn’t felt low in confidence at some point in life, right?
Nobody is born with limitless confidence. If someone seems to have incredible self confidence, it’s because she or he has worked on building it for years. Confidence is something that you learn to build up and it needs continuous work. As we evolve, circumstances change and life happens, confidence is at risk of being deflated. So, it’s a relationship we need to nurture for life.
But What’s Confidence?
Confidence is what you use to help you do anything that seems hard, scary or impossible. It’s what gives you a boost for everyday challenges. Confidence moves you into action, it’s the link between your thoughts and your actions
Confidence is rooted in experience and it reflects YOUR view of how likely you are to accomplish a goal, especially based on your past experience.
Having more confidence leads to more positivity, happiness and resilience. But it also helps you take more risks that can reap in rewards.
So How Can You Build More Confidence?
It’s tricky, because confidence is built on different things, but overall it is built on choices and accomplishments that make you feel happy and proud of who you are.
Here are 10 ways you can begin nurturing your confidence:
1. Take Action and Get Things Done
No one will bring you a nicely wrapped box full of confidence. So you need to take action to create confidence. If you achieve your goals, either small or big, you’re going to feel much better about yourself. It begins with your day-to-day goals, what do you need to accomplish today, and every day this week or three days this week to help meet your goal? If you accomplish the goals you set for every day, chances are you will begin meeting weekly, monthly and yearly goals. Set a goal for yourself, and go for it.
2. Monitor and Embrace Your Progress
Whether you’re trying to get promoted, get a better job, change careers or improve a skill, the best way to know if you’re making progress is to monitor it. Quantify your accomplishments: the number of applications you’re submitting to jobs, how many people you are contacting on Linkedin or how many modules you take per week of a course and write down whatever your goal you set to yourself. It will help you stay on course, and you will build confidence as you see the progress you’re making in real time.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
People with low self-confidence see others as better or more deserving than themselves. Instead of carrying this perception, see yourself as being equal to everyone. We are all human, with our own strengths and weaknesses. They are no better or more deserving than you. Focus on comparing yourself to yesterday’s version of you and you will automatically see an improvement in your self-confidence.
4. Do The Right Thing, Follow your Values
Most confident people live by a value system and make their decisions based on that value system, even when it’s hard and not necessarily in their best interest, but in the interest of the greater good. Your actions and your decisions define your character. Ask yourself what the best version of yourself that you aspire to be would do, and do it. Even when it’s really hard and it’s the last thing you want to do and it means a short-term sacrifice on your part, in the long run you’re going to like yourself more and be prouder of who you are.
5. Take Care of Yourself
Self-confidence depends on a combination of good physical health, emotional health and social health. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you don’t feel good in your skin or constantly have low energy.
Make time to cultivate great exercise, eating and sleep habits and creating space for things you love. You need to recharge to be your best self. In addition, get a confidence boost with small, but powerful gestures: wear your favorite color, use your favorite fragrance, hi’five yourself in the mirror as Mel Robbins recommend, or practice your power poses as suggested by Amy Cuddy in her Ted Talk.
Build your self-confidence by making the effort to look after your own needs.
6. Try Things that Make you Uncomfortable
We all know that growth happens out of our comfort zone, and it’s the same for confidence building. So get ready. Visualize what you want to happen. Understand and list what is uncomfortable to you. Then break the challenge into smaller steps, more achievable. Change your perspective around fear and failure, they are just opportunities to learn. Talk yourself up with micro boosters like “I can handle it”, “What’s the worst that can happen?”, “I’ve done things like this before and I can do it again”. Don’t overthink and take action even afraid.
7. Lower the Volume of your Inner Critics
Our thoughts inform our feelings that impact our behavior. So that’s why it’s so important to manage our thoughts and control the inner critics. When confidence is low, your inner critics tend to take space to your positive voices. So you might be hearing more often things like “I’m not good enough for this position” or “What if I fail?”. All these voices mean well as they exist to protect you, but challenge them by asking them “What evidence is there to support your thought” and “What evidence is there not to support your thought” , extract what’s useful for you, and then silent them.
9. Don’t Care What Others Think
Whether it is rejection from employers, headhunters, or just negative feedback from friends or family, people will try to tell you your goal is too big, or that you’re not ready, or that you can’t do it, that it’s never been done before, etc., and you absolutely can not listen to them. You must be resolute. If you think you can do it, you can do it. Don’t listen to others, believe in yourself, do the work and keep going.
8. Keep your Promises… Specially the Ones to Yourself
People respect people when they say they’re going to do something and they do it. More importantly, you will respect yourself if you say you’re going to do something and you do it, and belief in yourself will come easier. Action gives your words meaning, and it will help you pave a path to accomplishing your goals, strengthening your relationships and feeling proud of who you are.
9. Reach out to Others
Helping someone else often enables us to forget about ourselves and to feel grateful for what we have. It also feels good when you are able to make a difference for someone else. Leverage your strengths and maybe volunteer to mentor, or assist or teach another, and you’ll see your self-confidence grow automatically in the process.
Also, think of people that inspire you and explore ways to reach out to them. Make connections, start a conversation, share your thoughts, ask about their journeys and how they have built their confidence. There are others out there that have also built strong confidence. Take the opportunity and learn from them.
10. Practice your Affirmations.
We tend to behave in accordance with our own self-image. The trick to making lasting change is to change how you view yourself.
Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly. For example, if you doubt your skills, practice saying something like “I am good at xxx”; or if you are struggling with your work overriding your life, practice something like “There is enough time to work well and live well”.
Which one of the 10 options resonated with you more?
Which one are you going to start with?
Have a great and confident week,
To your fulfillment
Sophie
PS: If you feel you are at a crossroads in your career and you need a boost in confidence to decide what’s next, book some time with me here. I’d be happy to have a conversation to understand where you are, what you want and try to help you out. Don’t be shy, no strings attached, no commitments, just a conversation between human beings.